Posts tagged ‘perspective’

April 13, 2009

5 things I’m remembering

1. To not only memorize scriptures but to bury them deep into my heart and spirit as the Word of God, His instruction and promise and reminders to me of who He is and how He works.

2. To look at what I do have and do see rather than what seems to be missing from my life. Spiritually, I have abundance, and God has blessed me physically in many ways. That I don’t have a full-time job or answers to the questions of bill payments come the end of the month is not to be the focus of my daily existence. Instead, I should be remembering that I have food in my freezer, gas in the car, and computer access to accomplish the work before me. And I should remember that I have a life full of people whom I love with all my heart. These are blessings in the midst of a period of unknowns.

3. That my experience as a citizen of a wealthy nation is the minority experience in this world. Regardless of my own personal income, I am far more wealthy than two-thirds of the population of the earth, and my perspective on life should be a direct reflection of that fact. It should also be a constant reminder that I have more than enough resources to help others in need.

4. That I am not on this earth to be remembered but to point others to a Gracious and Mighty God. That Jesus Himself came to earth to serve others, and He is my example.

5. That my daily irritations are insignifcant. Even yesterday, as I prepared to unload a car full of breakfast foods and the rain began to drizzle on my carefully designed hair and clothes, I had to laugh at myself for caring so much about my own appearance. With the Cruxificion fresh in mind, and that day’s celebration of the Risen Savior, I quickly said to my Lord, “You endured hours and hours in torrential rains, all while hanging on a cross. A little bit of rain on my head is the least I can do for all You’ve done for me.” Perspective makes all the difference in the world.

March 23, 2009

why blogging?

on personal essay writing:
taken from a post by Christine Mason Miller, from a conversation with Blue Poppy (of the now-defunct blog)
When we can trust the love we have – when we know, not just believe, that we have enough love – we are free to write honestly, even knowing that the more honestly we share, express and expose ourselves, the easier we are making it for some people to not like us. This does not mean rejection or criticism will be easy, but it means we always have the safety net of genuine love and support to fall back on. With this safety net, we are able to write as honestly as possible, and it is this kind of honesty that makes for the very best writing.

These words do appeal to my own beliefs about writing. My writing (and later, my blogs) has always been a personal expression of myself, my interests, my beliefs and emotions. I write out of the sheer love of expressing the thoughts tumbling around my head. Before weblogs there were paper journals, and these are still a source of expression for me, as well. But blogging allows me the benefit of connecting to an audience, of connecting to a network and to friends. And my belief, like Blue Poppy’s words note, is that I need not write if I am not inclined to be honest. If I am unwilling to put my true self out into the world, I may as well say nothing at all. But the one thing I value most in people is the willingness to be themselves, warts and vices and passions and all. And so I write what I feel. I write what I see and what God teaches me. And I learn about myself (and others) through the exercise. If no one else in the entire world reads my posts, I am still blessed by the act of sorting through my mind and committing it to words. It’s the most precious gift my God has given to me, and it’s my treasure to be surrounded by family and friends who love me in spite of everything else. No matter what I write.

February 6, 2009

Good morning, you non-morning person!

I am the furthest from a morning person that anyone can be. My nights run long, into the wee hours of the morning, even when I have a schedule to keep, and my mornings come far too quickly and I am awakened far too abruptly, each and every time. When weekends arrive, I can easily sleep into mid-afternoon with no guilt at all. This is my usual schedule and another reason I continue to feel like an adolescent even as I enter my fortieth year. I’m simply unaccustomed to meeting the morning with anything near joy or gladness.

You can imagine my shock these past months at being fully awake by 4am on many occasions. True, these mornings often come after days of sleeping more than 20 hours straight, but 4am is still a weird time for me to be awake. With the night still thick outside my windows, I don’t feel any pressure to move forward in the day. I usually decide to while away the hours until sun-up, catching up on email or blogging or simply perusing the Internet for inspiration and ideas. The danger in this is that I can easily find myself at the computer six or eight hours later, wondering just how I missed the morning completely. I’m focused like that. And if a morning happens to run that course, there’s usually no salvaging the remainder of the day. I’m as good as done.

Today, however, offers a change. This week has been odd, filled with non-activity to the point of standing still. I did get out on Monday to return the rental car and wrap up the whole auto collision situation that occurred just over two weeks ago. And that evening I went shopping for a few groceries and found the most amazing bargain in $5.00 jeans (of which I purchased 5 pair!). Returning home near 9pm meant that my night would extend for hours; I have a hard time settling down in the evenings, especially if I don’t get home early. On Tuesday I waited for a FedEx delivery from the insurance company, but by the time he arrived I had lost all momentum to get out and go to the bank. The rest of this week I have felt crummy. Some kind of weirdness in my stomach, from who knows what, and all I had energy to do was lie in bed. I got up late Wednesday night but returned to bed only six hours later and slept all day. On Thursday, I awoke at 5pm and was back in bed by 10:00. I slept like a log for five more hours. And then I was awake!

It is now 8:30am on Friday, and I’ve been up since 3:00. I feel better, I have energy and have a full day planned of my favorite joys: one (or maybe two) Oscar-nominated films and a visit to Borders bookstore. I will probably be done-in when I return late in the afternoon, but chances are I’m awake until midnight. That’s just the way things tend to go with me.

The greatest blessing in my life right now is that I am able to have these kinds of days. Though it’s never good to be unemployed, and it’s certainly unsettling, I have peace and faith in my God that He is working me into the best future. I had a very rough year in 2008, full of debilitating health issues, and more than anything my body simply needed time to heal, to rest and be restored. I have that time now, in these days, and I’m learning to fully embrace it and enjoy it. God is providing all of my financial needs in abundance so that I can enjoy it. And He will reveal my next place of employment in His time, so I’m not worried over that. Instead, I’m thankful for days to sleep if I need to sleep, to play if I want to play. And that’s a blessing I’ll not soon forget.

Even if I have to be up at 4am.

January 4, 2009

Promise in 2009

On New Year’s Eve, Beth Moore posted thoughts about Deuteronomy 11:11-12, and it really spoke to me. I have decided to claim this verse for my year. 2008 was challenging in some new ways and in some of the same old ways, and while I did learn a great deal about myself during the year, I feel as if I missed so much, too. I don’t want to feel this way at the end of 2009, and I know it’s entirely up to me. My God is Faithful and True, but He will only walk with me and help me move forward… He will never make me choose the right path. I know enough by this 40th year of life to know that I must choose Him. I need the LORD. I need this GOD. I’m so grateful that I can return to Him no matter how often I stray or how often I simply sit idle. I’m so grateful that He loves me more than I know how to love myself. And I’m so grateful that the Road goes ever on and on, no matter how hard I try to escape it.

I like the Holman translation of the verse:

But the land you are entering to possess is a land of mountains and valleys, watered by rain from the sky. It is a land the LORD your God cares for. He is always watching over it from the beginning to the end of the year.

Beth Moore wrote: “We’re not the Old Testament Israelites with literal territory to occupy. Our earthly equivalent to a Land of Promise is a place we’ve crossed the river of fear to arrive in obedience to the will and joy of God. A place where lives, rather than lands, bear healthy fruit and where we bring Him glory to the best of our frail understanding, showing ourselves to be His disciples. I love the thought that God is attentive to us, no matter where we are, from the very first day of the year to the last. Wherever you are right now, no matter how you’re feeling, your God is right there with you. He is ATTENTIVE to you. TENDING to you.”

I know that I have the Almighty as my guide, and I know that He alone is in control of my circumstances, my difficulties, my needs, and is the provider of my desires, as well. He is Elohim, Creator God, and His care for me is unsurpassed. Last year was one of mountains, yes, but mostly of valleys. I want to scale the mountains again! I want to arrive on top and stay for at least a short time, worshipping the One and Only. I will not stay there, of course, but I hope to have that pleasure in this next year. And I hope to use my time in the valleys more productively, as well. It seems much more difficult to me than it is.

In 2009, I hope to remember (each and every moment) that I live in the Land of Promise that is nourished from Heaven by the Creator of all the earth, and that this same Creator cares for me. Little, insignificant me. I am important to Him, and He provides more than I will ever understand.

In 2009, I want to live in the Promise.

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