Archive for March, 2009

March 31, 2009

6 things that make me smile

1. SEEING A FORECAST OF 73 DEGREES. Though I love the winter, by this time of year I’m ready for cool days full of sunshine. Anything warmer than the 70s is more than I enjoy, but right now the climate is absolutely perfect. At least for a while.
 
2. THE SOUND OF WIND CHIMES moving in the breeze
 
3. THE MUSIC OF GEORGE STRAIT (circa 1983). I’ve not loved country music since the mid-80s, despite my recent fascination with a handful of artists, but Strait’s songs from the early ’80s never seem to age for me. I have good memories of my life around that time, and I have a great love for his easy style. Amarillo by Morning and Marina del Rey, among others, always bring a wide smile of nostalgia that I hope I never lose.
 
4. A PHONE CALL FROM A NEPHEW to tell me that his class is watching Star Wars tomorrow as part of their study of the Hero archetype. The joy is twofold: (1) that we share great love for the films themselves, and (2) that he is now studying exactly what I studied, in exactly the same manner, making it one more common thing in our two lives.
 
5. WATCHING SOMEONE HELP ANOTHER when not a word was spoken to indicate a need
 
6. RECALLING ALL OF THE VERSES IN THIS YEAR’S SCRIPTURE MEMORY PROJECT. It’s true that hiding God’s Word in your heart brings comfort and peace. I’m so grateful for the work He’s doing to help me recall His Word and for the situations He is bringing that teach me to wield it. Though challenging, these days have been full of blessing because of my memorization efforts. I couldn’t have imagined just how awesome it would be.
 

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March 30, 2009

5 things I do every single week

1. pick up a half-price drink at Sonic. generally, Coke with no ice or Lemon-Berry Slush. Giant-sized. Because, hey, between 2pm and 4pm, it’s less than a dollar!
 

2. read Entertainment Weekly, cover to cover. This habit is probably my longest-running hobby, going on its 10th year or more. I find great joy and even relaxation in reading about all the upcoming films and current pop culture events. Of course, this is also the chief reason that my mind is full of information only useful for dinner conversation.
 

3. write something for at least one of my blogs. I’m happy to finally be in the habit of almost-daily writing, but I make sure that I try to post at least one entry to document some aspect of my week. The posts are my personal life chronicle, and I look forward to the day when I gather all of them together for one bound record of these days of my life.
 

4. watch at least 10 hours of television. And that’s a low minimum. It’s more likely that I watch 20-30 hours each week. It is a time-waster, yes, but it’s also my choice of entertainment. I can rarely afford to go out, and my singleness means that movies are enjoyed alone. And while I have no problem with that, I just don’t spend my evenings out. TV is my substitute — the way I can enjoy pop culture without always heading to the movies. Living in a small town, there just aren’t too many other options for this cinephile.
 

5. speak with my family on the phone. I’m so blessed to live near both my sisters and to have good relationships with my parents. We speak often, sometimes many times a day, and I have found this to be my lifeline. There are entire days, especially lately, when I do not speak to a single person, so phone calls from family members truly keep me sane. And they sometimes fill my week. That such an online girl looks forward to any phone call says a great deal about how much my family means to me.

March 26, 2009

There are days…

when you just need to spin.

March 25, 2009

one word: community

Community is a foreign concept to me, actually. I’ve never felt part of a group, voluntary or otherwise. I’ve had three great friends in my life, only a handful of casual ones, and rarely get invited to “join in”. My own doing, yes. When you live a life of isolation, people will leave you alone. FACT. And yet I am instructed by God to join His community. The irony has always been that His community is full of people, and people don’t gravitate toward me. Nor I toward them.
 
I spend a lot of time wishing things were different, that I was different. And yet I don’t know how to accomplish that. Where do I go to find a group? I used to think my church was the answer, but I am still without a group of people to call up and hang out. I feel stuck between older and younger, and my life experience is like no one I know. I’m introverted by nature, and these feelings only serve to increase those social fears. I just don’t understand how to achieve “community”.
 
But even from inside this pit where I’ve made my home, I hear occasional calls from familiar voices. People who missed me at church. Others who check in online from time to time. Maybe I’m expecting far too much. Maybe I’m looking for “touch” when I should be embracing “voice”. Can a person live without touch? Are words enough to make a person feel loved and accepted? In some areas of my life they are (with my e-pal Cerella, for instance). So why do I feel that’s not enough when it comes to those in my own town? And how do I achieve those elusive relationships?
 
I know the answers. Partly, anyway. Isolating myself, being undependable, staying home from church… these keep me from becoming part of a community. Can I be myself fully and still be accepted? I wonder if anyone is actually paying attention in the first place. In moments of despair, I realize I do crave community. I need friends. I need people to hear me and help me. I need to hear other people’s stories. I cannot live this life alone. My history has proven that. But who in this life will share? That’s a question that keeps me awake at night.

 
Let us hold firmly to the hope that we have confessed, because we can trust God to do what he promised. Let us think about each other and help each other to show love and do good deeds. You should not stay away from the church meetings, as some are doing, but you should meet together and encourage each other. Do this even more as you see the Day coming. Hebrews 10:23-25 (New Century Version)

 
this post was derived from the list of inspiration words gathered on Ali Edwards’s blog and from the concept of writing about one word

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