Archive for March, 2005

March 3, 2005

I’m 36 today

I knew I was going to be this age on this day, of course, but something about seeing it in print… 36 … really did a number on me. (No pun intended.) It’s not the age itself, because in my family aging isn’t really aging. We all look 10 or more years younger than we are, and I admit that my personality is quite younger than my years. I still have people ask me what my “major” is. Ha! But seeing my age in print today shook me up in an existential kind of way. I had this thought of, “Whoa. 36 is very nearly 40.” Followed by, “What have you got to show for yourself? For your life?” I couldn’t answer that question! It’s come back to me throughout the day, off and on, like a tiny little itch in a spot that can’t be easily reached. And now, after a full day with this stuff rolling around in my head, I’ve realized that seeing that number just may be a kick in the pants, a jumpstart, to the true beginning of my journey. The one I’ve been dreaming of, the one that I knew would come but couldn’t quite find the starting blocks. I have a sense of seeing that path now, though with much fear and trepidation weighing on me. “36” seems my beginning. The start of my purpose in life. Who knew it would be so enlightening?!

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